Sunday June 3rd

susie had a fever today, I don't have a real thermometer for her - only the anal kind that has a special "no break" tip but I still decided not to take her temperature. The rash she began developing on Saturday night after her party spread to her hands and face. Gross. Since Susie was feverish and clearly infected with something, I left her at home with Brian while Elle & I went to CeCe & Ashlyn's birthday party. It was nice, we got there late as usual. My cousin Jessica has started her own catering company and I think in order to peak interest she made a grand display of desserts and entrees - very nice. Brian is a professional chef displaced from a professional kitchen. I think he is sad that he must sit in front of a computer every day instead of happily boozing and honing his chefy craft. Anyway it's nice that my cousin is doing so much - having 2 kids and a 40 hr a week job plus the catering on the side - it inspires me to do a little more to live up to other overachievers. There's someone on my facebook feed who posts all of the over-the-top home decorating schemes she comes up with and it makes me feel helpless. Like a loser who won't just saw the damn ceiling tile out of the downstairs bathroom ceiling because there's a big leak - whatever.
Eleanor had fun at the party - she was so excited to see Ashlyn but when we got there she got a little nervous and forgot her name. They did a pinata & musical chairs ( I realized that Eleanor probably has never played a real version of Musical Chairs) - Eleanor was the second kid to get out she lethargically floated toward the chairs...
Saw Dakota, Dylan Anne Laura & Rich Josh & Colby etc. very nice - aunt terry, rudy, diana and Tom
I meant to finish No Passengers but instead we watched the Game of Thrones finale - my obsession with the land of the 7 kingdoms is all consuming - it's better now but it was Susie's Great Series (ie. the series I read when I nursed her) Eleanor's Great Series was Dan Simmon's Hyperion series...also completely consumed my entire life at the time...well what was left of it after I mostly thought about Eleanor (mostly).


Monday June 4th

Ugh tried to go to work today knowing Susie had some infectious rash - horrible horrible mother. I made it as far as putting her bottles on the counter in the Infant room before eleanor loudly pointed out the enormous red bump on susie's hand "mom look at that bump on susie's hand it's HUGE!" (thank you eleanor) I tried to tell her to shut up with my eyes, but Alas, she is five and is immune to these subtleties. So Susie's teachers told me that hand foot and mouth was going around, I tried to play dumb but sympathetic and ended up taking her home after profusely apologizing. I dropped eleanor off at school - she was late again (because of the embarassing show at the daycare) she brought in gogurts and juice boxes for her concert on Friday.
took Susie to the doctor - she has impentago (spelling). When the nurse practitioner told me she had impentago I said "EWWW!" loudly and rudely. I took the day off from work which was upsetting. Susie had an ok day - I picked elle up from school she was eating cheese doodles on the ride home (snack from afterschool) When we got inside we read a few Nancy Elizabeth Wallace books about Monarch butterflies and Recycling (no, really, it was as interesting as it sounds) and then I heated up some leftovers for dinner. Susie at with us and smeared pasta sauce all over her impentago face (super gross) poor baby - I was so grossed out. Elle and I laughed for a long time over Susie's face because we were so grossed out. then Elle got ready for soccer. Bri was running late so I drove Elle to soccer and dropped her off when we got ont he car I moved an the empty container that had contained the cheese doodles and spilled orange crumbs everywhere - then I yelled and banned cheese doodles from the house, elle started crying because she thought I told her she could never have cheese doodles again. I had to apologize sort of and explain. I felt like mommy dearest - I have these moments several times a day when the things I do or say seem inappropriate. At dinner I clarified that we served beer at susie's party because there was less alcohol in it than liquor. Eleanor then explained that "liquor has the most alcohol, then wine then beer" and i said "yes, that's why we served beer and a little wine at Susie's party, not liquor - if you serve liquor it's a different kidn of party" and elle said "a party where you make bad choices" (oh god can't remember exactly what she said but it was something like that!) - Soccer it was a workshop type practice today so I felt kind of bad just leaving Eleanor but it was like 50 degrees this evening, susie was sick and I was cold. Soccer annoys me less than other sports. this is good I guess.

Brought suse home, stuck her in the tub, called mom - we chatted for a bit until susie tried to climb out of the tub by throwing one little fat leg over the side of the tub and whining - so I changed her into new jammies (afraid the old ones were covered in skin bacteria infection crap). then Elle got home - I put suse to bed, elle took a shower and whined about not getting dessert or a story - she was so tired I said no. Stand by my decision. I think she cried herself to sleep but I think she'll wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning.

I should call this blog the Bad Mom blog. or what not to tell your children. or how about "what not to share with other people about what goes on inside your sordid home"